One day I was
watering my neighbor’s yard while he was away on vacation when my attention was
suddenly drawn to the cement block fence that separated our properties. During the eighteen years that he and I had
lived side by side, I had looked at that fence countless times, but at that
particular moment it seemed to be different.
Viewing it from my side, the fence was extremely tall—perhaps eight feet
or more—but from my neighbor’s side it was scarcely five feet tall.
I laughed at my
momentary puzzlement as I realized that I was seeing the fence from a different
perspective than usual. My neighbor’s
yard is at the beginning of a slope and mine is further down on the incline. When
the fence was first constructed it was six feet high on both sides of our lots,
but my neighbor had filled the low side of his yard to be level with the high
side. That cut the visible height of his
fence to five feet, whereas there had been a two-foot retaining wall added on
my side to accommodate the sloping terrain, thereby making it eight feet high.
That little
moment of awareness caused me to speculate as to how my neighbor and I would
each describe our fence to a third party.
He would say the fence is five feet tall and I would say it is eight
feet tall, and we would both be telling the truth as we see it from our
different perspectives.
How easy it is
then for people to be at variances with each other in viewing life, and how
much conflict and strife can ensue from “one-sided” vision. Therefore, for harmony and fair play to exist
in a relationship with another person, each one needs to be willing to see both
sides of any given situation, as the conditions that exist on one side may be
totally different than that on the other side. Example: in regards to the
afore-mentioned fence, both my neighbor and I would have been only half correct
had we described our fence from our particular perspective of it. In reality the fence is eight feet tall on my
side and five feet tall on his.
Different
cultures, religious beliefs, financial and social status, all influence our
values and approaches to life, creating a different perspective for one person
relative to that of another and making it difficult for people to be totally
objective with each other. Even in one’s
own family, there are personality differences in the members. One child may
conform and meekly accept the rules and standards of his parents as his own,
and that will be his side of the family “fence.” But, another child may rebel
against those standards and assert his right to think for himself. In that case he places himself on the
opposite side of the family “fence,” and establishes a conflict of viewpoints
between him/her and the parents, as well as the other siblings who may have
conformed
Once a person
has a concept of right in his mind (either by conforming or rebelling to the
pressures exerted against him), his sense of self-worth tends to be dependent
on asserting and defending his viewpoint against those who disagree with him.
Therefore, he becomes biased in favor of whatever lifestyle and viewpoint he
has accepted and loses his ability to be totally objective.
This gives rise
to a “survival-of-the ego” pride-oriented environment, wherein people compete
to have the dominant role over someone else. As such, the prideful individual
does not seek objectivity, fair play and equal opportunity for each person to
express his/her individuality and slant on life, but seeks instead to uphold
their one-sided viewpoint.
How then can a
harmonious, loving society come into being with all the participants defending
themselves as being totally right? It
can’t, but it can come into being if people are willing to become objective and
seen both sides of every situation. Once
he takes a look at the other side of his fellowman’s “fence” he can see life as
the other person sees it and understand why that person thinks and acts the way
he does.
Understanding
then removes prejudice and bias and brings forth patience for other people’s
perspective on life, thereby affording the individual AN OBJECTIVE VIEWPOINT
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